Monthly Archives: August 2011

I do management by cookies

Ever noticed how different managers have different managing style?

Apparently there are just a handful of management styles and you better learn how to deal with each. Fear not, my fellow human, I come to your rescue.

Autocratic management style

CHARACTERISTICS:

  • Makes decisions without much regard of your opinion
  • You might end up depending on them for supervision
  • They are control freaks
  • They like to yell decisions

TRANSLATION:

  • They look smashing wearing latex, leather boots and they walk around in Hitler style
  • You better learn German. Jawohl!
  • If you`re not in the army, you don`t have to put up with this shit. Go speak with a supervisor.
  • If it`s red and gives you the death look, walk away now.

Paternalistic management style

CHARACTERISTICS:

  • The manager encourages feedback
  • The manager takes decision while thinking of both the employee and company
  • Emphasis on social needs

TRANSLATION:

  • Who`s your daddy?
  • Warning, zone of hugs and talking about your feelings

Democratic management style

CHARACTERISTICS:

  • Uses fancy words like “empowerment” and “leveraged synergy”
  • Will involve you in all decisions that concern/affect/need your expertise.
  • Management style that improves job satisfaction.
  • Slow decision making process.

TRANSLATION:

  • This is the “I don`t have a clue about what we should do, so let me hear your ideas”.
  • These are the friendly people.
  • Prepare to men up and take responsibility for your decisions and actions.
  • Guess what?! Someone actually cares about what you think ! AWESOM-O!

Laissez-faire management style

CHARACTERISTICS:

  • Not much of a leader
  • Little communication and control of the employee
  • Best for creative groups

TRANSLATION:

  • Might be that your manager sucks. Might be that you`re a hard to control beast and your manager gave up trying. Down boy!
  • You might end up not knowing what your next tasks are.  Go and offer to help the new hottie.
  • Lots and lots and lots of freedom.

Management by walking around(MBWA)

CHARACTERISTICS:

  • Good for managers who are active listeners
  • They get an idea of the level of moral/feedback in the organization
  • They get and provide unfiltered and in real-time information
  • Most of them are like a team coach
  • They leave most of the decision-making responsibilities with the employees

TRANSLATION:

  • These are the people who want to lose some weight and think walking around helps.
  • They tell you when you suck without further ado
  • They usually walk around like the Pink Panther, and always catch you when you`re browsing pOrn

Now, I`m new at this, but I can`t decide which one to choose, so I decided to try a mixture of these management styles.

MBC (Management by cookies)

CHARACTERISTICS:

  • This manager brings cookies to work
  • Smiles a lot
  • Asks a lot of questions

TRANSLATION:

  • Will get you addicted to sugar
  • You`ll get no cookies if you screw up and she`ll savor one in front of your drooling face
  • You don`t work for me, you work with me.
  • As long as you`re an employee of the same company, I will give you the same amount of respect as any other employee (no matter if you`re a temp, outsourced consultant or CEO)
  • I will listen to your complains
  •  I`ll try to pick up signals when you`re too tired or overworked and I`ll help out
  • Your job is always interesting to me, so I want to know how things work
  • If you did something good, it`s your merit. If you did something wrong, it`s my fault for not giving enough guidance
  • If something went wrong, I`ll focus on ways to avoid it in the future, not on who did it

FINAL NOTE : most managers change the management styles depending on the moon cycle and their life partner`s mood.